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"There is nothing wrong with desiring to be happy or content in this life, but happiness can be self-centered if not properly understood in the context of love."
The other day as I was driving, a pastor was talking about marriage on the radio. He was saying that when people came for premarital counseling, he usually asks them the following question: why do you want to be married? After many years of counseling experience, he has noticed that the answer is usually the same…"I want to be happy". This answer reflects a simple but basic human desire; we all want to be happy. There is nothing wrong with desiring to be happy or content in this life, but happiness can be self-centered if not properly understood in the context of love.
When couples say that they want to be happy, there is this notion and expectation that their future spouse will make them happy. This was exactly the case with the radio pastor after he just got married. He realized that expecting his wife to make him happy was selfish. He learned that to make any person happy is a very complex issue and no human being has been burdened with a task that only God can bear. His unhappiness was made clearer when he grew impatient with faults in his wife that he could not change. But one day, his perspective was changed when he realized that all the faults on his wife were not there to rob him of happiness, but in fact, they were opportunities to love her. He continued to confess that with this renewed mind, he started to see God transforming all those things that he initially did not like about his wife. When he decided to love her as he was commanded, his love for her not only increased, but she was changed as well by God. Finally, his obedience to the word of God resulted in a happier husband and wife. Happiness is not something that can be attained directly. It will elude anyone who tries that approach. When husband and wife chose to love one another, then happiness will eventually become more tangible.
José serves Cornerstone by overseeing the Spanish language ministry “Nueva Vida Ministerios”.
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